Arbonne Bankruptcy - An Insider View

I just learned about the Arbonne bankruptcy and am really saddened by the news. I was a devoted Arbonne representative for 3 years, and I have nothing but wonderful things to say about the company, the leadership, and the Arbonne products which, by the way, I still use.

As a former insider, I would like to give my take on what might have gone wrong. History can play an important role in helping us to choose the correct path for our futures, and this information may provide some insight for those searching for a home business.

While an Arbonne representative, I made the most amazing friends, participated in a great deal of personal growth, and had a total blast attending conventions and meetings with other loving, like-minded women. So why, you may ask, would I ever leave such a great company?

Arbonne Bankruptcy - An Insider View

In a nutshell, I was creating much more debt with this business than income. Which brings me around to the issue of the Arbonne bankruptcy.

I believe that the underlying issues which resulted in me walking away from my business can be attributed to the Arbonne bankruptcy problem as well.

Yes, you get what you pay for. Arbonne's products are top quality, produce visible results, and have health advantages that are admirable to say the least. Unfortunately, the products are very expensive. It was my personal experience that many potential customers were not either able or not willing to pay the price demanded by the high quality. Flash forward to this very point in time, where many are being forced to cut luxuries from their budgets. Yes, we all want to look our best but when push comes to shove there are higher priorities that demand our financial resources. Arbonne's main marketing plan incorporates the use of home parties. Yes, many are successful doing these parties and I'm sure that there are some people who enjoy this type of thing, but it's a tough sell. The Arbonne bankruptcy may very well have been accelerated by the fact that people just don't have much spare time, and that they don't want to feel pressured to spend money that they otherwise would not spend. Arbonne's products are consumable, which is one of the qualities that they rely on to increase sales. When you run out of eye cream you buy more, right? Another selling feature of these products is that they last a very long time. The anti-aging skin care set, which is Arbonne's top product, will last six months when used twice a day. From the standpoint of an Arbonne consultant, the downfall of this is that repeat sales do not occur on a frequent basis. If you don't have a huge customer base or even better, a huge downline with large customer bases, it's difficult to make a good amount of money. The minimum autoship order for Arbonne consultants is one hundred dollars a month. For those who are not making a lot of sales this can result in a financial burden and an excessive inventory of product that has a fairly short shelf life. This is quite possibly one of the biggest reasons for the large attrition rate that has been a factor in the Arbonne bankruptcy. I'm not bashing Arbonne and I will repeat, I love the Company, the leadership, and their products. Company President Rita Davenport has made a public statement to Arbonne consultants assuring them that the Company is strong and that the Arbonne bankruptcy will ultimately make the Company stronger.

I truly hope this is an accurate depiction of the future of Arbonne. Only time will tell.

Arbonne Bankruptcy - An Insider View
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Cyberwar in Estonia and the Middle East

Did a member of your family help launch a cyber attack that brought an entire nation to its knees? No, seriously, don't laugh. In April 2007, communications in the Baltic state of Estonia were crippled through a coordinated attack that relied on the computers of millions of innocent users around the world, just like you and your kin. The strike was notable in fully demonstrating how cyber war had moved from idea to reality. And it all started with the movements of a single soldier.

The Bronze Soldier is a two-meter statue which formerly stood in a small square in Tallinn, the Estonian capital, above the burial site of Soviet soldiers lost in the Second World War. The memorial has long divided the population of the country, with native Estonians considering it a symbol of Soviet (and formerly Nazi) occupation and a large minority population (around 25% of the total) of ethnic Russian immigrants seeing it as an emblem of Soviet victory over the Nazis and Russian claims over Estonia. When the country's newly appointed Ansip government initiated plans to relocate the statue and the remains as part of a 2007 electoral mandate, the move sparked the worst riots the country had ever seen - and a startling cyber attack from Russia.

On April 27, as two days of rioting shook the country and the Estonian embassy in Moscow found itself under siege, a massive distributed denial-of service (DDoS) attack overwhelmed most of Estonia's internet infrastructure, bringing online activity almost to a standstill. The targets were not military websites but civilian sites belonging to organizations such as banks, newspapers, internet service providers (ISPs), and even home users. Much of the onslaught came from hackers using ISP addresses in Russia, but the most devastating element in the attack was a botnet which co-opted millions of previously virus infected computers around the globe to pummel the Estonian infrastructure.

Cyberwar in Estonia and the Middle East

Anatomy of a Cyber Attack

The botnet fooled Estonian network routers into continuously resending useless packets of information to one another, rapidly flooding the infrastructure used to conduct all online business in the country. The attack centered mainly on small websites which were easy to knock out, but nevertheless was devastatingly effective. Bank websites became unreachable, paralyzing most of Estonia's financial activity. Press sites also came under attack, in an attempt to disable news sources. And ISPs were overwhelmed, blacking out internet access for significant portions of the population.

While the Estonian government was expecting there to be an online backlash to its decision to move the statue, it was completely unprepared for the scale of the cyber attack. Estonia's defense minister went on record to declare the attack "a national security situation", adding "it can effectively be compared to when your ports are shut to the sea."(1)

Once it became clear that most of the country's online business infrastructure was being affected, the Computer Emergency Response Team for Estonia (CERT-EE) issued a plea for help from IT security specialists worldwide and an ad-hoc digital rescue team was assembled, which included people from my own firm, Beyond Security. It took us a few days to get to the bottom of the threat and begin setting up frontline defenses, which mainly involved implementing BCP 38 network ingress filtering techniques across affected routers to prevent source address spoofing of internet traffic. The attack waned quickly once we started taking defensive measures. But in the days it took to fight off the attack, it is likely that the country lost billions of Euros in reduced productivity and business downtime.

Cyber War in the Middle East

The Estonian incident will go down in history as the first major (and hopefully biggest ever) example of full-blown cyber warfare. However, there is one place on earth where cyber war has become part of the day-to-day online landscape - and it is still ongoing.

In the Middle East, the Arab-Israeli conflict has a significant online element, with thousands of attacks and counter-attacks a year. This has been the situation since the collapse of peace talks in the region and was preceded by a spontaneous wide-scale cyber war between Arab and Israeli hackers in 1999 and 2000. Arab sympathizers from many nations are involved. A group of Moroccan hackers have been defacing Israeli web sites for the last six years or so, and recently Israel's military radio station was infiltrated by an Iraqi hacker.

Unlike the blitzkrieg-like strike in Estonia, this protracted warfare is not intended to paralyze critical enemy functions but more to sap morale, drain resources and hamper the economy. The targets are typically low-hanging fruit in internet terms: small transactional, informational and even homespun web sites whose security can easily be compromised. Taking over and defacing these sites is a way of intimidating the opposition - creating a feeling of 'if they are here, where else might they be?' - and leads to significant loss of data, profits and trust for the site owners.

Cyber War Spreads

If the Estonia and Middle East examples were our only experiences of cyber warfare then it might be tempting to put them down to local factors and therefore not of concern to the wider security community. Sadly, however, these instances are simply part of a much larger trend towards causing disruption on digital communications platforms. In January this year, for example, two of Kyrgyzstan's four ISPs were knocked out by a major DDoS hit whose authors remain unknown.(2) Although details are sketchy, the attack is said to have disabled as much as 80% of all internet traffic between the former Soviet Union republic and the west.

The strike appeared to have originated from Russian networks which are thought to have had links to criminal activity in the past, and probably the only thing preventing widespread disruption in this instance was the fact that Kyrgyzstan's online services, unlike those in Estonia, are poor at the best of times. It was apparently not the first such attack in the country, either.(3) It is claimed there was a politically-motivated DDoS in the country's 2005 presidential elections, allegedly attributed to a Kyrgyz journalist sympathizing with the opposition party.

China has also engaged in cyber warfare in recent years, albeit on a smaller scale. Hackers from within the country are said to have penetrated the laptop of the US defense secretary, sensitive French networks, US and German government computers, New Zealand networks and Taiwan's police, defense, election and central bank computer systems.

In a similar fashion, in 2003 cyber pests hacked into the UK Labor Party's official website and posted up a picture of US President George Bush carrying his dog - with the head of Tony Blair, the Prime Minister of the UK at the time, superimposed on it.(4) The incident drew attention to government sites' lax approach to security although in this particular event it was reported that hackers had exploited the fact that monitoring equipment used by the site hosting company had not been working properly. And as long ago as 2001, animal rights activists were resorting to hacking as a way of protesting against the fur trade, defacing luxury brand Chanel's website with images of slaughtered animals. (5)

The Case for the Defense

What do all these incidents mean for policy makers worldwide? Both the Estonian and Middle Eastern experiences show clearly that cyber war is a reality and the former, in particular, demonstrates its devastating potential. In fairness, Estonia was in some ways the perfect target for a cyber strike. Emerging from Russian sovereignty in the early 1990s with little legacy communications infrastructure, the nation was able to leapfrog the developments of western European countries and establish an economy firmly based on online services, such as banking, commerce and e-government. At the same time, the small size of the country - it is one of the least populous in the European Union - meant that most of its web sites were similarly minor and could be easily overwhelmed in the event of an attack. Last but not least, at the time of the Estonian incident, nothing on a similar scale had been experienced before.

It is safe to say that other nations will now not be caught out so easily. In fact, if anything, what happened in Estonia will have demonstrated to the rest of the world that cyber weapons can be highly effective, and so should be considered a priority for military and defense planning.

What might make cyber warfare the tactic of choice for a belligerent state? There are at least five good reasons. The first is that it is 'clean'. It can knock out a target nation's entire economy without damaging any of the underlying infrastructure.

The second is that it is an almost completely painless form of engagement for the aggressor: an attack can be launched at the press of a button without the need to commit a single soldier.

The third reason is cost-effectiveness. A 21,000-machine botnet can be acquired for 'just a few thousand dollars', a fraction of the cost of a conventional weapon, and yet can cause damage and disruption easily worth hundreds of times that.(6)

The fourth is that it is particularly difficult for national administrations to police and protect their online borders. A DDoS attack may be prevented simply by installing better firewalls around a web site (for example), but no nation currently has the power to tell its ISPs, telecommunications companies and other online businesses that they should do this, which leaves the country wide open to cyber strikes.

The last but by no means least reason is plausible deniability. In none of the cyber war attacks seen so far has it been possible to link the strike with a government authority, and in fact it would be almost impossible to do so. In the case of the Chinese hack attacks, for instance, the authorities have provided a defense which amounts to saying: 'There are probably a billion hackers on our soil and if it was us we would have to be stupid to do it from a Chinese IP address.'

A similar logic potentially provides absolution to the Russian administration in the case of Estonia: if it is so cheap and easy to get a botnet to mount a DDoS attack, why would the Russians bother mounting hack attacks from their own ISPs? And in the Kyrgyz attack, although the source of the DDoS clearly points to a Russian hand, the motives for Russia's involvement remain hazy, leading to a suggestion that it may have been caused by Kyrgyzstan's own incumbent party, acting with hired cyber criminals from Russia.

Tactics For Protection

With all these advantages, it is unlikely that any military power worth its salt is by this stage still ignoring the potential of cyber warfare. In fact, since the Estonia incident it is even possible that the incidence of cyber warfare has increased, and we are simply not aware of the fact because the defensive capabilities of the sparring nations have increased. After all, another important lesson from Estonia is that it is possible to mount a defense against cyber attacks. There is no single solution, no silver bullet, but a range of measures can be taken to deal with the kinds of DDoS issues faced by Estonia and the kinds of hacker attacks still going on in the Middle East.

For DDoS strike avoidance, there are four types of defense:
o Blocking SYN floods, which are caused when the attacker (for example) spoofs the return address of a client machine so that a server receiving a connection message from it is left hanging when it attempts to acknowledge receipt.
o Implementing BCP 38 network ingress filtering techniques to guard against forged information packets, as employed successfully in Estonia.
o Zombie Zappers, which are free, open source tools that can tell a device (or 'zombie') which is flooding a system to stop doing so.
o Low-bandwidth web sites, which prevent primitive DDoS attacks simply by not having enough capacity to help propagate the flood.

For hacker attacks such as those seen in the Middle East, meanwhile, there are
three main types of defense:
o Scanning for known vulnerabilities in the system.
o Checking for web application holes.
o Testing the entire network to detect the weakest link and plug any potential entry points.

A Doomsday Scenario?
All the above are useful defensive tactics, but what about strategic actions? First and foremost, the Estonian experience showed that it is important for the local CERT to have priority in the event of an attack, in order to ensure that things can return to normal as soon as possible.

Authorities can also as far as possible check national infrastructures for DoS and DDoS weaknesses,, and finally, national CERTs can scan all the networks they are responsible for - something the Belgian CERT has already started doing. Given the openness of the internet and the differing challenges and interests of those operating on it, these measures will of course only provide partial protection. But it is hoped they would be enough to prevent another Estonia incident. Or would they?

There is, unfortunately, another type of cyber war strike which we have yet to see and which could be several times more devastating that what happened in Estonia. Rather than trying to hack into web sites just to deface them - a time-consuming effort with relatively little payback - this tactic would involve placing 'time bombs' in the web systems concerned. These could be set to lay dormant until triggered by a specific time and date or a particular event, such as a given headline in the national news feed. They would then activate and shut down their host web site, either using an internal DoS or some other mechanism.

The code bombs could lay dormant for long enough for a malicious agency to crack and infect most or all of the major web sites of a country. And in today's networked world, this is no longer about simply causing inconvenience. Think of the number of essential services, from telephone networks to healthcare systems, which now rely on internet platforms. Knocking all these out in one go could have a truly overwhelming impact on a nation's defensive capabilities, without the need for an aggressor to send a single soldier into combat.

The means to create such an attack definitely exist. So do the means to defeat it. What has happened in Estonia and the Middle East shows we now need to consider cyber warfare as a very real threat. What could happen if we fail to guard against it really does not bear thinking about.

References
1. Mark Landler and John Markoff: 'Digital fears emerge after data siege
in Estonia'. New York Times, 29 May 2007.
2. Danny Bradbury: 'The fog of cyberwar'. The Guardian, 5 February 2009.
3. Ibid.
4. 'Labour website hacked'. BBC News, 16 June 2003.
5. 'The fur flies'. Wired, 23 January 2001.
6. Spencer Kelly: 'Buying a botnet'. BBC
World News, 12 March 2009.

Cyberwar in Estonia and the Middle East
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Aviram Jenik is the CEO of Beyond Security, which has developed tools that uncover security problems in servers and web sites, discover vulnerabilities in corporate networks, check computer systems for vulnerability to hostile external attack and audit vendor products for security risks.

Aviram Jenik
Beyond Security
http://www.beyondsecurity.com
1616 Anderson Road
McLean, VA 22102
1-800-801-2821
brianp@beyondsecurity.com

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FBI Criminal Background Check - How Can I Get a Background Check on Myself?

How to request an FBI background check on yourself

If you suspect that there might be some incorrect information on your FBI Identification Record or "Rap Sheet" as it is commonly known as, then you will need to make a request to obtain it. You have a right to do a criminal background check on yourself but you will have to jump through a few hoops to get hold of it.

If you are adopting a child or you need to disclose any criminal record to get work then you may need to request your criminal history record. Of course it's more likely that you want to do your FBI criminal background check in order to prove that you don't have a record at all.

FBI Criminal Background Check - How Can I Get a Background Check on Myself?

You can request a copy of your identification record on the FBI web site at the FBI gov web site under "More Services". Here you will find all the instructions that you need to complete the request and get it processed.

There is a fee payable that you must include with your application. At the time of writing the stated fee was which is a nominal fee to cover administrative costs.

The worst part of the application form is the fact that you have to send in a full set of your fingerprints to prove that you are who you say you are. In this instance, a drivers license and a utility bill just won't be enough.

Fingerprints must be taken carefully so that they are clean prints and you must fill in a fresh fingerprint card too. In theory I suppose that you could do all of this yourself but I would suggest that you go down to your local law enforcement office and get an expert fingerprint technician to do it for you. This should avoid any problems with the process.

Can you get an FBI criminal background check on someone else?

No, you can't, not through the FBI site anyway. The application has to be done in person and anyone trying to get one for someone else would need to obtain a full, yes all 10, set of fingerprints. You need to be determined just to get your own rap sheet, it would be near impossible to get one for someone else without their knowledge.

Free criminal background checks

Nothing is ever absolutely free I know and you aren't going to get such a complete and accurate criminal background check on yourself as you will direct from the FBI itself. But it is possible for you to look up criminal and arrest records, arrest warrants and a lot more information by doing your searches in public records, online. You can do it really quickly too.

It can be a very cheap alternative and potentially provide you with a lot of diverse information that you might not get from the FBI. This could be bankruptcies, civil judgements, email addresses, property records and other interesting stuff. In addition you can do criminal background checks on anyone using public records, not just yourself.

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Protecting yourself From Identity Theft
Claim your free gift to help you defend yourself against identity theft and show you what to do if you've become a victim.

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Used Commercial Truck for Sale by Owner

Every business needs some sort of transportation. Business owners always seek for a reliable source which efficiently handles heavy loads from one place to another. Customers are frequently looking for used commercial trucks. In the whole world, these types of trucks are becoming very popular. Many leading automobile manufacturing companies start producing these kinds of vehicles. In the countries like United States, Australia, Japan and Russia, these automotive are mainly used. Many leading newspapers and automobile magazines are regularly publishing classifieds for used commercial trucks. Even some news channels are also scroll numerous ads for used vehicle's sale.

Before designing the model of commercial automotive, manufacturers considered all the essential requirements. Manufacturing industries frequently introduced new range of vehicles in the automobile market. Every model is well equipped with advanced technology and with additional features. For transportation, these vehicles are more useful and have high importance. Due to its exclusive varieties and high speed performance, every buyer prefers to purchase these automotive. Used commercial trucks are responsible for industrial developments. Every auto part of these trucks has high quality.

Used commercial trucks for sale are the new growing concept among the buyers. For carrying heavy machinery and goods, it is best suitable. It has hauling capacities and better towing facilities. Every year, the number of customers is increasing rapidly. For the improvement of commercial sale industries, used or second hand vehicles are more important. Those who are not able to buy brand new trucks are prefers to buy used commercial trucks. It saves your lot of money. If you want to buy automobiles in a large quality, then this option of purchasing second hand vehicles is the best option. Its every model is appreciated by the large number of customers. It is suitable for every kind of transportation job. Its supreme features make these vehicles more efficient and dynamic. Its hydraulically elevated structure makes these vehicles more pivotal. It plays key role for boosting infrastructure.

Used Commercial Truck for Sale by Owner

Owners can easily maintain these trucks in a good condition just by providing regular servicing. Hence, every time owners will get high quality performance from these automotive. But before selecting any used commercial trucks, always do proper search. Get the list of service providers and compare them with each others. After doing these essential market studies, select the one which provides you some of the great and beneficial deals. Check the vehicle condition and its legal documents like its registrations papers carefully.

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Microsoft Word Not Responding? Here's What You Can Do!

Microsoft Word is one of the most popular text editors in the world, which comes loaded with hundreds (and thousands) of handy features. But, just as every coin has a flip side, MS Word comes with its own share of troubles; here's more insight to the Microsoft Word Not Responding bug.

You may often encounter situation when MS Word freezes and you see just an error message on the top of the menu bar that reads "Microsoft Word Not Responding", with an hour glass that never stops running. In such cases, you've no choice but to terminate the Word application through task manager and re-launch it again.

Sometimes, this may lead to loss of unsaved data (in most cases, Word will recover the file that you're editing when it crashed), though far worse, the application may tend to exhibit the same behavior over and again. This may be mainly due to some of the third party apps, which cause Word to crash. So, the first and the foremost thing that you need to do is to disable all the third party plug-ins and launch Microsoft Word in Safe Mode with no add-ons (or plug-ins).

Microsoft Word Not Responding? Here's What You Can Do!

Having done that, you're good to go and finish off whatever you were doing and save your work. Now, you can start activating plug-ins one after the other, and check the effect every time. After activating one of the plug-ins, you'll encounter the same problem again, and this is how you'll be able to identify the culprit.

There may be several reasons behind the "MS Word not responding" bug, though the add-ons, and plug-ins are known to be the biggest troublemakers.

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5 Simple Activities to Help Young Children Develop Friendship Skills

The first thing I teach young children is about their personal space. As a dance educator, it is more then just "keeping your hands to yourself" but understanding what exactly is space. For example, some children like to talk close in another child's face; other's will instinctively grab a friends hand or sit on top of another child. Some children do not have an understanding of their bodies and when they play they easy knock into others and are considered "rough." When the child's whose space is inadvertently being squished speaks out the squishier can interpret this as the child does not want to be play or be friends.

This can be the furthest thing from the truth but teaching children about friendship is more than using kind words, sharing and good manners. It is also about respecting boundaries and space and achieving a certain level of body control. Think back to your own personal relationships. How do you feel when you are in a conversation with a close talker, or on top of someone in a tight elevator? A certain amount of control is lost. Your body is constricted and it reflects how you feel. The same is true of children.

There are simple games that you can do with children to teach them about personal space, the space around them and how they move their body through the space. Try some of these ideas out with your children or students and watch as their understanding of their bodies change and the concept of friendship develops beyond words.

5 Simple Activities to Help Young Children Develop Friendship Skills

1. Have every child start in their own special spot. They can use "magic glue" to glue to the bottoms of the shoes to the ground. Ask each child to take their most favorite food out of their pocket. Let them describe it to you. If they need help prompt them. Some good examples are: sticky, gooey cheesy, melty pizza. crunchy popcorn, wiggly spaghetti, and/or jiggly jello. The more descriptive words the better. Now have them pretend to eat it and follow the journey of the food as they swallow it and the jiggly jello jiggles down their throat, jiggles in their bellies and jiggles to the bottom of their feet. Maybe the sticky, gooey pizza travels around their ribs and to their arms. This exercise begins to teach children that we have space inside our bodies. Food gets chewed up and travels through out our body as energy. They can experience the inside of their bodies through a visual and kinesthetic experience. They can move inside their body without traveling from their spot.

2. Every child should still be in their own special spot. They cannot move their feet from their special spot but they can reach and stretch with their arms in any direction. Let them explore the space around them, above them,under them, beside them. Let them explore the close space around their neck, behind their knees, under their chin and reach as far away as they can as well. Space is not only inside them but always around them as well.

3. Now we are ready to move through the space. Make the movement boundaries very clear. You can use cones or painter's tape to mark the movement space on the floor. I usually make a rectangle or square and call it our movement square. We have a defined space and are not to go outside the space. Now that the children worked on moving their bodies in their spots, remind them they have control of their bodies and the space around them. Start slow and have the children walk around the space. They may be close or far from another person but may not touch. This game gets better the more they practice. Have the children meet very close to the center of the space without touching and then get as far as they can from each other. They are becoming aware of their own space and others. After they have mastered walking you can add other steps like galloping, skipping, jumping and jogging. You can move sideways through the space, and carefully backwards through the space as well.

4. Kids like to touch each other. With permission and guidelines gentle touching is a great way to connect to each other. When they are comfortable moving through the space, add touch to the experience. Yell out two body parts like "hand to hand." The children need to touch a child connecting with their hands. "Hand to foot" would be two children touching one hand to one foot. Other fun ones are hip to hip, hand to knee, elbow to knee, back to back, etc.

5. Lastly, see if they can put some of these concepts together. In groups of four or more see if the children can create a shape together that explores space. They can reach in high, middle or low level, they can be close or far from each other, they can choose to touch and they can choose to move their shape through the space. Team work is involved, muscle control, spatial awareness and body awareness.

After working on these activities, a gentle reminder about space when a child is sitting on top of another child or talking very close to a friend will take on new meaning. These kinesthetic exercises give children the practice they need to become better friends; understanding space, boundaries and gentle touch. It gives children ownership of their bodies, the space around themselves and others. Have fun learning with and through the body, developing connections and helping the little ones in your life develop friendships.

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Stacey is the Founder and Director of Leaping Legs Creative Movement Programs. The focus of Leaping Legs is to help people regardless of age, experience or ability, become educated about their movement potential, develop kinesthetic awareness, and become more physically fit and healthy together as a family, and community. Leaping Legs promotes its goal through its original Up Down & All Around DVD, teacher training, and school and community workshops. The Up Down & All Around DVD received Dr. Toy's 100 Best Children's Products 2009 Award and 10 Best Active Products 2009 Award. The DVD has also been featured in many magazines including Dance Teacher and Dance Retailer News. In its August 2009 issue, Dance Teacher called the DVD "an essential tool for teaching the fundamentals of movement with daily adult-child interactions."

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The Benefits Of Living In A Single Parent Family

News reports often contain dire reports on the effects on kids being raised in single parent families. Certainly, there are drawbacks to living with only one parent. But, there are also many advantages for kids who are raised in a one-parent home.

Conflict-ridden homes have been shown through research to be the worst living situation for kids. If the prior two-parent living environment included ongoing conflict, a change to living with only one parent can have positive effects on the kids such as a gradual lessening of anxiety. Kids learn how to do relationships from observing the adults around them. It's often better for the kids to see no relationship with the parents living apart than to have a poor relationship model when the parent stay together.

Kids who live through the breakup of their parents learn how to handle hardship and being different from their peers. Even though your home may not represent the cultural ideal living situation, it can still be filled with love and shared good times.

The Benefits Of Living In A Single Parent Family

Single parents often end up spending more time with their children than they did when they were with their former partner. Cooking duties may be reduced, since kids are often satisfied with simpler meals. Some partners are not very involved with housework and if this was the case, there may be more time due to having one less person's laundry to do and messes to clean up after.

Having two homes can turn out to be an advantage for your kids. They get to see other styles of living and get exposure to other personal beliefs if stepparents are involved. If the circumstances at the other home are less than ideal, the child will be able to compare the two homes and make decisions about which model works best for her when she reaches adulthood.

Stepparents can also be a benefit. A child may feel comfortable confiding in a stepparent instead of a parent when the going gets tough. Your kids could gain an extended stepfamily which offers more opportunities to get establish strong ties with other people who care about your child. They may even get exposed to new experiences that shape their choice of livelihood or recreational interests.

Kids in single parent families tend to become independent faster than other kids. The sole parent probably has a job and many other items to tend to, so the kids often have to learn how to do things for themselves such as fix a snack or finish a chore. Kids that have two parents or especially, a stay-at-home parent may not have as many opportunities to take part in the daily household tasks. Kids also learn that they should not be completely reliant on a future mate, since they could also end up living alone or parenting on their own.

The opportunity to celebrate each holiday twice is often the favorite benefit of kids. Christmas at two homes can often result in more gifts than the kids would have gotten had the parents stayed together.

A home with two biological or adoptive parents does provide many advantages. But, a one-parent home can also offer positive benefits for the kids. You can sympathize with your kids about the loss of their two-parent home, but focus on the advantages of your new lifestyle and fill your home with love. Your single parent family can be a successful family!

The Benefits Of Living In A Single Parent Family
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Annie Parron has been a single parent for seven years. For other dating articles by Annie and information for single parents, visit http://www.singleparentspot.com If you are co-parenting with someone who is mentally ill or a substance abuser, visit http://www.coparentingnightmare.com

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How to Catch A Cheating Husband

Many women mistakenly believe they need to hire a private investigator or buy expensive software or surveillance equipment to catch a cheating husband. If you're familiar with the signs of infidelity, all you really need are your own eyes and ears and your personal knowledge of your mate. The key is knowing what to look for.

The information below on how to catch a cheating husband is adapted from Chapter 4 of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs. This comprehensive guide documents practically every known warning sign of infidelity, including a multitude of little-known signs not listed anywhere else. It includes signs most women usually overlook, signs a private investigator is unlikely to find, signs so subtle that a cheating man wouldn't even think to cover them up; and signs which will help you pinpoint the identity of the other woman.

For your convenience, the signs of infidelity in "Is He Cheating on You?" are grouped into 21 categories so you can easily locate the signs that apply to your husband. Look through the signs, then give yourself a reasonable period of time ( up to 2 weeks) to search for clues. Watch your husband. Pay close attention to everything he says or does. While it's true that some telltale signs are subtle, most are easy to spot, when you know what you're looking for. If you stay alert to what's going on, you're unlikely to miss any significant signs. Use your senses - all of them.

How to Catch A Cheating Husband

o Look - at his appearance, notice his behavior. Observe any changes in his work habits and his daily routine.

o Listen - for uncharacteristic remarks, for things he now refuses to discuss, for names dropped, for lies or inconsistencies in what he says,

o Smell - his person, his clothing, his car for incriminating sexual odors or unfamiliar scents.

o Feel - the tension in your marriage, the emotional distance.

Don't be so quick to dismiss your intuition. If your gut instinct tells you something is wrong, take a closer look.

Stay Alert

Don't let a single day pass without being keenly aware of everything your husband says or does. The signs that are evident one day may be undetectable the next. Be alert to anything that appears to be a departure from his norm. Some women make a point of actively searching for telltale signs. Others feel so strongly about invasion of privacy that they only take note of readily visible telltale signs. To them, certain boundaries are not to be crossed, even for a worthy cause. If you feel uneasy about spying on your husband, do what feels comfortable to you. It helps to think of it as information gathering rather than spying. Bear in mind that sometimes the end justifies the means. The more diligently you look, the more telltale signs you're likely to find. Some women observe telltale signs but fail to recognize them for what they are. They make no connection between what they see and what's going on behind their back. There's very little you'll miss if you constantly refer to the categories in this book.

Write Down What You Find

Document everything! Keep accurate records of what you find. Don't try to rely on your memory. Record your findings in a journal and keep it under lock and key. Log in the dates, times and places that suspicious incidents occur. (phone calls, absences, meetings, excuses or alibis given, names dropped, etc.) If you have everything down in black-and-white, you can analyze what you've found to see if there are patterns to his behavior. Does he have to go to the store for cigarettes or a beer around 8:30 every Thursday night? Do anonymous phone calls only arrive a half hour before or after he leaves for his weekly night out with the guys? Does he walk the dog an unusually long time the first and third Sunday of each month? Does he put on cologne to go work out at the gym? Does he wear his best suit or one of his favorite shirts only on days he calls home to say he has to work late? Patterns like these will only be evident if you carefully document the things you find.

Exercise Caution

When you find tangible, physical evidence, pay close attention to exactly where and how it was found. Be careful to put things back exactly as they were to keep from arousing his suspicion. When possible, make photocopies or take photos of love notes, phone numbers, e-mails, letters, incriminating receipts and similar items you happen to come across. Store your "evidence journal" in a safe place. You'll need it when you sit down and tell your husband you know about his affair. As you go about conducting your investigation, be discreet. Keep your eyes and ears open and your mouth shut. Maintain your secrecy; be careful not to tip your hand. Don't let your husband know that you suspect anything at all. Live your life as normally as you while checking your husband out. Treat him the same way you did before you began to have doubts. Otherwise, he may become suspicious. Once he gets wind that you're "on to him", he may start hiding evidence or attempt to cover his tracks. As long as he doesn't know that you're suspicious, it will be easier to find out what's going on.

Don't Ask - He Won't Tell

Continue watching your husband and the pieces of the puzzle will gradually start falling into place. A lot of his strange behavior will suddenly begin to make sense. However, you should prepare yourself for the possibility that it could take weeks before you find out the truth. During the time you're observing your husband, you may be tempted to question him about some of the things you see or hear. You'll feel an overwhelming urge to drop hints about what you've found just to let him know you're not a fool. My advice to you is don't. If you give in to these urges prematurely, you'll be making a serious mistake. Keep your lips zipped and your emotions in check until you have all the facts. Timing is everything. Don't lose the advantage you have by exposing your knowledge too soon.

Restrain Yourself

It will take great effort on your part to restrain yourself as the evidence against your husband mounts Do not come right out and ask him if he's having an affair unless you're prepared to hear a lie. It usually takes solid evidence before a cheating husband will reluctantly (if ever) admit to having an affair. Even then, many men continue to lie. Ask a few discreet questions, if you must, but refrain from giving him the third degree. Continue your search for telltale signs and put your major questions on hold. Jot them down in a special section of your evidence journal. You'll get a chance to ask them later when you sit down and talk with him about his affair. Restrain yourself for now. There's nothing to be gained by dropping hints or letting your husband know what you suspect. Reveal what you knowe only at the right time, under the right circumstances.
The more information you gather about your husband's affair, the more fragile your emotions may become -- or the hotter your anger will begin to blaze. If the pain of discovery becomes too much to bear or you become too filled with rage to continue, hire a professional who can investigate from an impersonal point of view.

Build a Strong Case

Once you have solid evidence that your husband is cheating, experts agree that you should confront him with your knowledge of his affair. Make sure your case is strong and your evidence solid. It will be hard for him to deny the truth if you have things down in black and white. That's why it's so important that you keep accurate notes. Otherwise, he may try to confuse you or convince you it's all in your mind. This is a common ploy of cheating husbands when confronted with evidence of their affair.

Plan Your Confrontation

When the time is right for you to confront your husband with what you know about his affair, the time, place and goals of your confrontation must be carefully planned. When you confront him, there are specific questions you'll need to ask him about the affair. .

A WORD OF CAUTION:

Do not jeopardize your safety searching for telltale signs. Take all necessary precautions to protect yourself and your children. If at any time you feel that you are in danger; or if your husband has aggressive tendencies, an explosive temper or has a history of violent behavior, leave the detective work to a pro. Do not put yourself or your children at risk.

© 2001-2004 Ruth Houston

How to Catch A Cheating Husband
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Ruth Houston is the author of “Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs.” For more information about the book, cheating husbands, or infidelity visit http://www.Is-He-Cheating-On-You.com To receive a FREE Special Report with detailed explanations of each of the 21 categories of telltale signs, send an e-mail to InfidelityInfo@gmail.com with "21 Categories" in the subject line.

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The Dangers Of Leaving Your Wireless Network Unsecured

If you were to browse for wireless networks in a busy city you would be surprised at how many unsecured networks you will find, many people are oblivious to the dangers, however I would like to outline these.

By unsecure I am referring to a wireless network that is accessible without the need for a network key, although WEP is horribly insecure also I will not be covering its vulnerabilities in this article. Providing an attacker is in range he can connect to an unsecured wireless network and become a part of the local network. OK so now what? The attack could then run an ip scan on the subnet to establish what is currently connected to the network. At this point the attacker could run various scans (port scans and so on) against the targets. It should be noted that this kind of scan would not be possible from outside of the network as usually a router acts as a firewall and only forwards on traffic to ports that have been assigned for forwarding.

With the above in mind you are at risk to certain exploits if an attacker becomes a part of your local area network, these however are dependent upon what services you are running and if you have any software firewall in place, however the following are more serious exploits that are the real dangers that will jeopardize your privacy and possible confidential details, and generally a software firewall will NOT protect you from these.

The Dangers Of Leaving Your Wireless Network Unsecured

ARP poisoning - To put it simply this exploit enables an attacker to 'pose' as another computer or device, usually your router! This can be done simply by sending a certain amount of arp replies to the victim saying that he has the MAC address of the router. The victim then updates its ARP table and sends all traffic destined for the router to the attackers MAC address. By doing this the attack can then monitor ALL traffic coming in and out of the victim. This needs very little explanation as to why it poses a risk. A lot of confidential details (usernames,passwords) are sent over the internet in plain text or with weak encryption, thus allowing the attacker to compromise your email accounts or other websites you use. There is also the problem of the attacker being able to view pretty much everything your doing online! including all your msn conversations etc.

DHCP spoofing - This exploit requires a little more patience on the attackers behalf however if executed it can be very bad news for the victim. The attacker creates a DHCP server on their system, when a new user comes online whose adapter is set to automatically assign an ip address; the attackers DHCP server attempts to offer a DHCP packet before the router does, if the victim acknowledges the request the attacker can include any details they want, usually their own IP address as the gateway and also DNS server(s) The problems of this are explained below.

DNS poisoning - This is the most serious type of exploit, the attacker can execute this in two ways. The first is explained above, the second is for the attacker to gain access to the router (most unsecured networks are left with default settings, this means the password for the router is usually default also and can easily be found online or guessed!) and then changing the DNS server that it uses to one of the attackers (this could be a local one on the attackers machine, or a rogue one hosted elsewhere) All the attacker needs to do now is create some rogue DNS records that redirect the victim to imitations of websites, usually these look identical however once the username and password are entered and submitted, they get sent to the attacker instead of where they should be sent! The attacker can even get the page to forward the details onto the correct site aftewards, therefore the attack going completely unnoticed. Obviously this is a very big problem especially for sites such as ebay, paypal, and especially online banking.

These exploits above are the most common for an attacker to use to gain confidential information, there are many more and a lot are dependent upon the setup of the network and victims machine.

In summary, it is clear to see that leaving a wireless network unsecure can have serious implications, and gives attackers an open door for them to gain access to all kinds of confidential information. The following security precautions are advised to give optimal security for home users:

-Always secure your network with a WPA or WPA2 key, make sure that the key is long in length and also complex. Avoid WEP at all costs, it is redundant and can be broken in minutes providing an attacker has a good signal.

-Implement MAC address filtering, this only allows traffic from registered MAC addresses. While MAC addresses can be spoofed, it can be a hard process as an attacker has to sniff traffic and anaylse frame headers to see source/target MAC addresses of an authenticated client, this can be very difficult for an unassociated client.

-Don't broadcast your SSID, while this on its own will not stop an attacker, it is an extra layer of security.

-Use a software firewall, I recommend Agnitum Outpost.

While no system in the world will ever be 100% secure, it is important to implement as many security precautions as possible to prevent attackers from exploiting. With the above points in place an attacker would have an extremely hard time ever gaining access to your network.

The Dangers Of Leaving Your Wireless Network Unsecured
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Sexual Abuse - Covert (Subtle) Forms

"Traditionally, incest was defined as "sexual intercourse between two persons too closely related to marry legally--sex between siblings, first cousins, the seduction by fathers of their daughters." This dysfunctional blood relationship, however, does not completely describe what children are experiencing. To fully understand all sexual abuse, we need to look beyond the blood bond and include the emotional bond between the victim and his or her perpetrator. Thus, a new definition has emerged. The new definition now relies less on the blood bond between the victim and the perpetrator and more on the experience of the child." E. Sue Blume, Secret Survivors.

"Incest is both sexual abuse and an abuse of power. It is violence that does not require force. Another is using the victim, treating them in a way that they do not want or in a way that is not appropriate by a person with whom a different relationship is required. It is abuse because it does not take into consideration the needs or wishes of the child; rather, it meets the needs of the other person at the child's expense. If the experience has sexual meaning for another person, in lieu of a nurturing purpose for the benefit of the child, it is abuse. If it is unwanted or inappropriate for her age or the relationship, it is abuse. Incest [sexual abuse] can occur through words, sounds, or even exposure of the child to sights or acts that are sexual but do not involve her. If she is forced to see what she does not want to see, for instance, by an exhibitionist, it is abuse. If a child is forced into an experience that is sexual in content or overtone that is abuse. As long as the child is induced into sexual activity with someone who is in a position of greater power, whether that power is derived through the perpetrator's age, size, status, or relationship, the act is abusive. A child who cannot refuse, or who believes she or he cannot refuse, is a child who has been violated." (E. Sue Blume, Secret Survivors).

Adhering to the definition of Sexual Child Abuse (see above), sexual abuse can be as subtle and insidious as:

Sexual Abuse - Covert (Subtle) Forms

o allowing the child to see pornographic pictures or movies or including the child with him/her as if the adult and child are peers

o a father rubbing cold water on his daughter's chest--ostensibly to make her breasts grow

o a parent insisting a daughter do certain exercises to make her breast grow or grow bigger

o making jokes about a girl's flat chest--i.e. two fried eggs, etc.

o giving a girl a T-shirt with two fried eggs in the strategic area of her breasts

o pulling a child's bathing suit bottom down--the perpetrator usually laughs--causing humiliation

o a game of swimming pool tag--the person who gets 'tagged' gets his/her bathing suit pulled down, invariably a child is the only one who gets tagged and laughed at

o a man hugging a child while pressing his hard penis against her

o a man giving a child a 'wet' kiss on the lips

o a family member putting his tongue on a child's lips or into her mouth--ostensibly the 'family/friend' kiss--the child doesn't like this type kiss, but has no recourse since the child believes this is a family practice

o anyone, who has sexual intent invading a child's privacy, such as entering the bathroom or bedroom without knocking, catching her unaware and indisposed

o anyone 'playfully' pulling his/her swimsuit bottom down or pulling her panties down without implied permission or permission

o bathing a child when the child is old enough to bathe him/herself

o any person touching or caressing the child in ways that are sexual

o a man holding a child on his lap while he has an erection

o a person who stares (ogles) at or makes provocative sexual comments about the child's body

o anyone kissing the child in a way that is sexual for the giver

o seemingly innocuous touching, wrestling, tickling or playing, which has sexual overtones or meaning for the other person

o touching a boy's penis with sexual overtone or meaning, while changing his diaper or bathing/drying him

o smacking or hitting a boy's penis if he has an erection--generally done to boys age 2 to 5

o playing 'red light/green light' - If I touched you here (the person touches an erogenous area) would you say "Red light or Green Light? No matter the answer the person has transgressed a boundary and the child has experienced in-appropriate touch and therefore has been abused

o any adult asking/instructing a child to touch him/her in his/her erogenous or genital area

o copping a feel in the child's erogenous or genital area

o a man touching/patting a child's leg with sexual intent or meaning while driving

o a man with sexual intent or meaning while seemingly unintentionally touching a child's chest/or breast

Women know how unnerving and icky it feels when a person ogles, touches, cops a feel or makes in-appropriate or unwanted sexual comments. Can you imagine how a child feels? While the child doesn't know the intent or ramifications, the child feels the person's sexual energy and doesn't know what is transpiring, therefore a copped feel, ogling or sexual comments are more profound for a child than an adult.

While you might think these examples are far reaching--let me assure you each one has been told to me by a person who suffers the aftereffects of sexual child abuse. These aftereffects were consistent with others who had the same experience and same aftereffects. Furthermore, these covert (subtle) forms were seldom the extent of the sexual abuse. These covert forms of sexual abuse are usually grooming the child to have penetration.

Covert sexual abuse is more insidious than blatant sexual abuse. Thus, identifying it is more difficult because the sexual nature of the action is disguised. The sex offender acts as if she/he is doing something non-sexual, when in fact she/he is being sexual. The betrayal then becomes two-fold. The child is not only abused, but also tricked or deceived about the act. In this dishonesty, the child is unable to identify or clarify his/her perception of the experience. The unreal or surreal sense that accompanies any sexual abuse is intensified when the child is tricked into disbelief. Thus, the child doubts his/her perceptions and feelings and believes that there is something wrong with him/herself because he/she feels terrible.

To make matters worse, those around the child act as if nothing is wrong or there is collusion. For example: Uncle Lewie pulls his 3-year-old niece's bathing suit bottom down and everyone laughs. Or a game of tag is played and the person who gets 'tagged' gets his/her bathing suit pulled down, invariably the child is the only one who gets tagged and laughed at. The child feels humiliated or shamed as everyone laughs at his/her expense. Thus, the child feels inadequate or crazy that he/she feels bad, as if she/he is the one with the problem.

Sexual Abuse - Covert (Subtle) Forms
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Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, "If I'd Only Known...Sexual Abuse in or Out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention, specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net

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